I am clay in the hand of the potter.
From dust he made me and to dust I will return.
Night and day I meditate on his word –
And yet then I return to my doubt.
I feel empowered and strengthened to rise up in faith –
Then I am reminded of the weight of the world, and I slowly steep back into some kind of faith paralysis.
I know who my God is. He is miracle worker. He is way maker. He is redeemer.
I am appalled by the doubters and those who question Jesus in scripture.
Yet, when my faith fails me, am I not just the same as they?
I am disgusted by how easily I fall prey to the lies of the enemy.
With the same mouth I profess my faith, I speak negative self-shame and doubt.
I give way to fear though I know I have the strength of the one who shuts the mouths of lions.
I succumb to the lie of the enemy that perhaps my voice doesn’t matter –
After all, what can a small-town girl like me have to offer you?
Well, let me tell you what I have to offer.
I have the power in Jesus’ name with the Holy Spirit of God living and breathing inside me –
He brought rain when Noah was thought to be insane for building an ark in a time of drought.
He gave strength to Joseph, who was sold by his own brothers into slavery-
Only to rise up and be given favor in the eyes of Pharaoh to be put in charge of Egypt.
He gave Moses fierce faith to rise up against all he ever knew and stand for his people-
He was given power to free the Israelites and part the Red Sea.
My God walks through fire, walks on water, and crushes the enemy underneath his feet!
My God provided countless miracles in my life even when I didn’t always see them-
And now, what do I have to offer you?
The message of hope, of encouragement, the message of unconditional love that your Heavenly Father adores you.
The pain that runs deep in our world – I know we all feel it if our eyes are open.
I am infuriated by injustice, and I don’t always speak so eloquently –
But I will not stand on the sidelines while our enemy seeks to kill and destroy all that we are.
God has given me a message that heals our pain, frees us from our captivity to depression, to anxiety –
To a life enslaved to post traumatic stress. He gives freedom beyond your circumstances.
He sets the captives free. He prepares the way before us. He fills our cups.
His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
So, in my weakness of never feeling quite worthy, like Paul I feel like the least of these among you –
Yet God has clearly called me into ministry.
Measly, little ‘ol me, clumsy, and too bold for my own good.
He wants to use this mess of a grown woman to answer to the calling he has placed on my life.
I’m a big dreamer. I dream one day sex-trafficking will end once and for all.
I dream every marriage will prosper in perfect harmony of respect and love-
always putting God first, then each other above self.
I dream every parent will pour love and grace and Godly character building into the little, tiny souls we are raising for eternity.
I dream every individual suffering from captivity to the pain of mental health issues to be set free – just like the Israelites were set free –
Just like Joseph was freed from captivity – just like we were set free the day Jesus paid the cost for all on the cross of calvary.
I dream we can become a humanity working together to serve one another, no longer seeking selfish gain – but pursuing that which Christ set out to do-
Saving every soul from captivity to the enemy. His body no longer rests in the tomb. The tomb was rolled away, and Jesus rose to life again, and He is here to offer us a life
beyond our wildest dreams! If only we would take him at his word and trust our very own Maker.
These dreams may sound crazy and impossible –
Matthew 19:26 says, “with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
I choose to dream big, pray big, and step into the calling to share what God has put on my heart – to pursue writing and ministry- ministry to my family, and ministry to others.
That even one soul may be saved to the blessing of walking in relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ, our one true King.
Matthew 24:35 says, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”
John 10:9-10 Jesus is speaking…. “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
Be blessed my sweet friends! Your Heavenly Father calls you by name, knows every hair on your head, and he loves you more than you know.
Your beloved sister in Christ,